The JimH Blog

An offer you CAN'T refuse

My previous post talked about how Google thinks ads about UFOs fit this blog, and being an alien myself with an official Alien Registration Card to prove it, I was thrilled.

My favorite ad appearing on this site so far was from an enterprising Texan at www.alienabductionprevention.com. He sells a device, guaranteed for life no less, that protects the wearer from Alien Abduction. Yes fear no more, friends. For only $5.25 + $1.50 S&H you can sleep easy knowing that you're absolutely protected from this particular fate.  Think he's joking?  Think again, bucko. He offers a 110% refund should his device ever fail!

What a brilliant plan. Suppose, just for a moment, that his device actually does nothing, that it’s completely ineffective against some or even all evil aliens. If the odds of abduction are one in a million (details behind this calculation available on request) then he would have to refund $5.76 for every six millions dollars in revenue.  What an incredible business plan.

But wait! The JimH Blog has an even better deal. Send me a certified cashier’s check for $10,000.00 and I personally guarantee that some time in your life you WILL be abducted by an alien. Should your lifetime end without an abduction, simply come to me personally with proof of an abduction-free life (I, of course, will be the sole judge of the validity of that proof) and I will cheerfully return 110% of your purchase price.

Whose is the better offer? Enduring an abduction can be inconvenient if it comes at the wrong time. There are the risks of anal probes, unquenchable desires to build towers out of mashed potatoes, and other humiliations to endure. Ah, but the upside is tremendous. You and you alone (well, you and my other customers) get the thrill of actually meeting a Being from Outer Space. You’ll zip around the sky darting this way and that accompanied by flashing lights and eerie sounds. There is no grander adventure, no greater thrill.

Don’t delay. Sign up now for this amazing offer today. You won’t be disappointed. I know I won’t be.

PS. Long time readers of this site will remember my first UFO-related blog entry here.

Google ads are more fun than I thought

It turns out I wasn't getting rich quick enough with the Amazon links here on The JimH Blog. I get a kickback every time you buy anything at Amazon if you go through my book or CD links, but the traffic volume hasn’t allowed me to retire quite yet.

Not to fear, I’ve upped the ante by including Google AdSense ads in the left-hand column right under Recent Posts. You start making money for me just by clicking on those ads. Signing up didn’t cost me a thing. What a deal.

But that's not the most interesting part. The Google engine uses sophisticated A.I. technology to decide just which ads to display. The goal is to provide ads that seem appropriate to the site. This makes sense. Google doesn't want to annoy the website owner by showing inappropriate ads. More importantly, Google wants you to click on the ad so, making the assumption that you arrived at this site because of some particular interest, it tries to show other similar items which, in theory, might also interest you.

What fun. My blog is all over the map, so what will Google choose? It might have changed by the time you see this, but as I type the ads have titles like "UFO Video – Is it Real?" and "Want to see Real Ghosts?"

What's going on, here? Well, a recent blog entry was about Satellite photography. Good try, Google. And what the heck, I’ve always wondered if ghosts were real…