Religious Humor

The Times of London reported recently on a humor contest called “The Laugh Judgment” where readers got to vote on, among other things, the funniest jokes about religion.

Are the winners offensive?  It seems like they should be, especially in America where religion is taken so seriously and yet I don’t think they are. I love the top two in particular. The grand prize winner has the hallmarks of a classic joke. You’ve probably heard it before but even if you haven’t, the punch line is obvious about a third of the way in and the joke is still funny. It’s about the comedic journey, not the end gag. (There’s a recent movie about just that, but that’s another story.) Joke number two I had not heard and it’s stylistically opposite; the surprise punch line is delightful.

We could analyze these forever, but instead let’s just run the jokes. I’d admit right here these are not used with permission, but that’s the very nature of jokes, isn’t it? They’re meant to be passed on.

The Winner – Man on a Bridge

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

The Runner Up – Whoever is Without Sin

Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really p*** me off.

Comments

[Bruce Bulim]

I believe that man on bridge joke is an old Emo Philips joke. In fact there's a video of him performing it at the Hasty Pudding (Harvard Univ.) on his web site.

You're right jokes are meant to be shared, but
please throw Emo a bone.